The Issue Of Miscommunication In Modern Day Dating

As I sit around my kitchen table entering into yet another discussion about how all guys suck, the thought crosses my mind maybe it’s simply an issue of miscommunication. Maybe guys are looking for that special someone and they are just afraid that all girls are looking for these days is a casual hook up. I think that there are definitely guys and girls who have truly embraced the hook up culture, but I think there are also the guys who think that in order to get a girl and fit into society they have to go along with it. It is a known fact that no one likes rejection, and guys especially don’t deal with rejection well, so in order to protect themselves they would rather just hookup than run the risk of getting hurt. It is a domino effect, when guys act like f*ckbys and give off the impression that they are only looking for a hookup, girls change their behavior in order to be protect their hearts and in an attempt to be the cool girl.  When girls try to act cool and nonchalant, then guys get the impression that they are only looking for a hookup and they are fie with that.


Another issue that people are faced with when it comes to dating and miscommunication is the issue of the friend zone. The Friend Zone used to be clear cut, if someone was pursuing you and you didn’t have romantic feelings for them you made it clear that you just wanted to be friends, it was simple and it often ended with minimal emotional upset. The modern day friend zone is probably one of the most confusing places to be, and is basically a form of hell. The issue with the friend zone today is that it is not clear, you could be friends with someone and then hookup once but remain friends, or you could be accused of leading someone on even though you just merely thought of it as a one time or accidental hook up with a friend.


Examples of Different Scenarios Involving the Friend Zone


Example A: John and Jane have a great friendship, can talk about anything with each other but they are not romantically interested in each other. One night John and Jane are at a party and they are talking and joking around with each other when things escalate and they end up hooking up. They both laugh the situation off and realize that they truly are just good friends at this point in their life. Things may be a little awkward at first but eventually they fall back into a rhythm and their friendship is unharmed.


Example B: John has had a crush on Jane since he first laid eyes on her, but Jane only liked him as a friend. John and Jane became fast friends, and soon they are hanging out snap chatting and texting regularly. They have a great banter and make each other laugh; however in Jane’s mind they are nothing but friends. One night John and Jane are at a party talking and laughing and later that night they end up hooking up. To Jane the hookup meant nothing however John saw it as the first step to making their relationship official. After that fateful evening Jane thought nothing of it, where as John now believed that he had a good shot of being more than friends. Eventually when he realizes that Jane will never like him more than a friend and he likes her way to much to just be friends the friendship abruptly ends. Jane is left hurt and confused because she lost a friend who she genuinely enjoyed spending time with, and John is left hurt that his crush rejected him.


Example C: Jane and John have been friends for a while, they laugh, hang out, and are pretty much comfortable telling each other anything. They both end up developing feelings for each other, however they don’t know how to act. They are both trying to play it cool because they genuinely care about each other but they don’t want to risk ruining their relationship. Everyone can sense the unspoken tension between the two, and eventually they end up hooking up. The hookup is the turning point for their friendship and they soon begin dating.


Honestly the dating game is complicated, tiring, and full of miscommunication. My advice is don’t worry you have your whole life to find someone, but if you do have feelings for someone tell them. Even though the thought of telling someone you like them is mortifying you never know what tomorrow will bring, and its always best to say what you feel, because you never know when you will get another chance.



A Guide to Rose Colors

For those of you out there that get easily confused, or just have no clue what different colored roses mean then this is a simple guide for you.

Red Rose: A red rose is a symbol of love and romance, this should be given to someone that you are dating or want to date.



Pink Rose: While not as blatant as a red rose a pin rose can symbolize love, appreciation, and gratitude. A pink rose can either be given to a best friend or a lover.



White rose: white symbolizes purity and new beginnings. White roses can be given as a gesture to say I am thinking of you, they are often found at weddings, and other spiritual events such as a baptism.



Orange rose: Symbolizes passion



Yellow Rose: A yellow rose symbolizes health, friendship and general well being.



Purple Rose: A purple rose signifies mystery and could be given to either a potential love interest or a friend.



A Guys Perspective On Cheating

“Cheating is a definite no go.”- Cam age 17

“It is very bad”-Ehan 18

“I’m a strong supporter of it”- Brady age 18

“It is definitely a deal breaker”- Tyler age 20

“It is absolutely horrible and unacceptable”- Lachlan age 20

“I think it depends on the situation”- Anonymous

“I think everyone should have it happen to them and do it. It builds character of a person once you’ve experienced it. You appreciate little things more, you care less about misfortunes and you realize what you really want.” – Mike age 20

“I don’t really have experience with it on either side so it’s hard to say, but I am definitely against it. I feel like its more tempting for people who don’t like commitment, but if you are in a relationship you should ne thinking of more than just yourself, at least in my opinion that’s what it means to care about someone. I don’t expect anyone in a relationship to never be attracted to someone else, I think that is pretty normal, but to me a physical experience with someone else doesn’t even come close to worth risking the trust and emotional relationship you should have with your significant other. If you do cheat at least be man enough to admit you hurt someone else, and don’t try to pretend that what you did or are doing is ok because its not.”- Kyle age 27




Five First Date Ideas For Loyola Students

  1. Roland Park Bagel (it is within walking distance and it takes evergreen)
  2. Miss Shirley’s (This is a beloved place by all Loyola students, it takes evergreen, and it is within walking distance.)
  3. Belvedere Square (there are many different options, it is fairly inexpensive, and it isn’t too far from campus)
  4. Baltimore Orioles Game (tickets are pretty cheap especially with the student discount and it is a fun and casual atmosphere)
  5. The Senator Theater (it’s close to campus so you wont break the bank on cab fares, and it is in close proximity to many different restaurants and bars)Screen Shot 2016-04-11 at 2.01.26 PM


Ghosting is defined, as “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.” This is done in hope that the person simply gets the hint and moves on with their life as if nothing happened. The practice of ghosting is one of the worst new trends of dating in the 21st century. Ghosting leaves the other party feeling horrible with no closure wondering what they did wrong to be treated in such a way. It is the ultimate adult form of the silent treatment. In my opinion ghosting is the lazy/cowardly and immature way of ending it with someone. People have feelings and they deserve the courtesy of having a proper ending, even if it is hard it’s the right thing to do. If you have recently been ghosted just remember to take the high road, keep your head up and be the bigger person. The chances are high that you were too good for them anyway.


Guys Perspective on Ghosting

“That’s messed up. I would never do that to a girl because I’m not a dick”-Mike age 20

“That is immature, you should at least have the decency to give the other person closure”-Kyle age 27

“Sometimes it’s easier to let things fizzle without ever having to discuss it”-anonymous

“They will get the hint eventually and this way it isn’t as emotional”-anonymous


Girls Perspective on Ghosting

“If things aren’t working out, man up and be honest, don’t be a coward and ignore me until I go away”-Nicole age 20

“This is what is wrong with the world”-Nikki age 20

“Ghosting is an easy way out for f*ckboys who don’t have the balls to tell a girl straight up that they’re not interested”-Alex age 21

“It’s stupid”-Jasmine age 20



Image Credit: Her Campus

Dating Horror Stories

A Valentines Day To Remember 

“I took my girlfriend at the time out to dinner for Valentines day. We were on our way home when she wanted me to pull over and get it on. We did our thing, and after we finished we were sitting in the back of my car when all of a sudden I spotted a cop car out of the corner of my eye and I knew things were about to take a nasty turn. He pulled in behind us and I got out of the car and had to talk to the cop with no pants on, luckily she was in a dress. The cop made me call her parents and explain what we were doing… At the time my mom knew that we were having sex but her parents were completely unaware of the situation, so I ended up telling them that their daughter was blowing me. Afterwards I brought her home and we sat in silence on her couch until her parents finished reprimanding us, then I went home.” -Anonymous




Tinder Turned Trouble

“It was my seventh date with a guy I met on Tinder when things took a turn for the worse. We had spent a lovely day together kayaking on the lake when he suggested we go to dinner. We went to one of my favorite little local restaurants, had a delicious meal, and at the end he pulled out his card to pay. After leaving the restaurant we went back to my house and were relaxing on the deck when he suddenly jumped up to take a phone call. Then I heard rustling so I looked through the window and my heart skipped a beat as I watched him going through my handbag. I quickly jumped up and ran inside using a calm but stern tone in asking him what he was doing. He quickly replied that it had fallen over and he was just putting everything back, I immediately knew that he was lying and I started going through my purse to check if anything was missing. Sure enough everything was disheveled my card was thrown at the bottom and I was missing $20 in cash. A wave of anger came over him and he began yelling at me saying that I was accusing him of being a liar. He was only a few inches from my face screaming and I was scared for my life. I calmly searched around for my missing money and I had done a thorough search when all of a sudden a crumpled $20 bill magically appeared on the floor. After my mom came home he spent hours talking to her until she politely suggested it was late and that maybe he should get going. I waited until the next morning to tell my mom what had happened because I didn’t want her to spend the night worrying. When I told her the events of the night she immediately suggested that I check my bank account to make sure that he hadn’t taken my card number, sure enough the first charge to my card was from the restaurant! He had taken my card while I was in the bathroom and used it to pay for dinner!” –Anonymous



No Strings Attached

Over Easter Break I was flipping through the channels and stumbled upon the movie No Strings Attached starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. I first saw this romcom in 2011 when it was released, I remember really liking it however all I remembered from it was that it was about two longtime friends who decided to enter into a casual contractual agreement to just have sex with no strings attached. In recently re-watching the movie I have gained a whole new perspective to the story. Typically in relationships like these it is the girl who craves the commitment and falls in love first and it takes some persuading for the boy to finally decide to settle down, however this movie completely shatters that stereotype. Natalie Portman plays the workaholic who truly enjoys having someone in her bed without the commitment, and she shuts down any prospect of romance. Ashton Kutcher plays the wide-eyed hopeless romantic who catches a bad case of the feelings. Watching this unique love story unfold was refreshing. It was refreshing to see a man fall in love for once and to have to work so hard to prove himself. Ashton Kutcher made me believe in love again.


The Struggle of Being A Secret Hopeless Romantic

Every little girl grows up dreaming of the day when prince charming will enter her life, sweep her off her feet, and they will live happily ever after. I for one have always called BS on the whole fairytale idea. To me the idea of my prince charming finding me one day seems implausible. It is a daily struggle between the strong desire to have someone that you can call your own, and the overwhelming need to be strong and independent. It is too often that I find myself pushing people away and acting as if I don’t care, when I reality I care way more than I want to let on. I am not the type of person who likes to admit that I would go weak in the knees if someone showed up with flowers, or that my day would be made with a simple good morning text. I prefer to be the type of girl who is laid back and rolls with the punches, not getting too emotionally invested, and acting very nonchalant about any potential suitor. Personally I think I keep my hopeless romantic side a secret because I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment and end up a broken hearted girl.



Some signs that you are a secret hopeless romantic include:

  1. Watching romantic comedies or Nicholas Sparks movies and intensely rolling your eyes while secretly fantasizing about finding a love like they show in the movies.
  2. Seeing cute couples exchange public displays of affection and rolling your eyes feeling slightly nauseated while secretly hoping that you will one day have someone to hold your hand or kiss you not caring if anyone is looking.
  3. If someone shows interest in you, you act as cool as a cucumber to your friends but in the inside you are secretly hoping that it works out.
  4. Acting very rational when talking about your love life while secretly you are overwhelmed with emotion.
  5. When you are actually interested in someone it takes every fiber in your being to not text them or Snapchat them excessively, or reply immediately.
  6. The constant fear of acting too interested
  7. The problem of trying to play it cool and accidentally friend zoning someone you are seriously crushing on
  8. When they start showing interest and affection you get scared that thing wont work out so you push them away, secretly hoping that they wont let you.