You see it in the movies, you read it in magazines, you even hear it happening to other people, but you never think it will happen to you. It’s the plot twist that you weren’t expecting, finding out that someone who you thought cared about you was actually treating you as an option. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt, but you have to remember that it can’t consume you. If someone treats you like a joke, leave him like it’s funny. You are no one’s second choice, you are worth way more than just being an option, and even if it seems like the end of the world, trust me it’s not. The saying “once a cheater always a cheater” is very true and you are better off without him. When you first find out you may feel stupid for not recognizing the warning signs but remember its not your fault that he has a wandering eye and cant keep it in his pants. In the end karma will work its magic and he will get his just desserts. For the meantime keep your head held high, have a girls night, and realize that you are a queen and deserve to be treated as such.
- Get rid of anything and everything that reminds you of him
- Unfriend and unfollow him on social media, you don’t need his negativity in your life anymore
- If you truly love him and believe that it was an epic mistake or momentary lapse of judgment then try couples therapy (keep in mind actions speak louder than words)
- Take a trip or find a new hobby to distract yourself
- Don’t let anyone make you think you aren’t good enough
If you have ever had the unfortunate and unpleasant experience of going through a breakup you know that often times you just want to hide in your house binging on your favorite comfort foods, and listening to music that truly captures your emotions. Here are the best songs to listen to while you are trying to mend a broken heart…
- I Cant Make You Love Me by: Bonnie Raitt
- Say Something by: A Great Big World
- Goodbye My Lover by: James Blunt
- I Don’t Want To Talk About It by: Marit Larsen
- We Don’t Talk Anymore by: Charlie Puth featuring Selena Gomez
- Tonight I Want To Cry by: Keith Urban
- Broken Hearted Girl by: Beyoncé
- What Hurts The Most by: Rascal Flatts
- Love You Goodbye by: One Direction
- Goodbye by: Chris Young
- Better in time by: Leona Lewis
And for when you are ready to put down the ice cream and move on:
- Best Thing I Never Had by: Beyoncé
- Irreplaceable by: Beyoncé
- Love Yourself by: Justin Bieber
- Love Myself by: Hailee Steinfeld
- Hide Away by: Daya
- Survivor by: Destiny’s Child
- Alive by: Sia
- Fighter by: Christina Aguilera
- Single Ladies by: Beyoncé
Haunting: Haunting is very similar to ghosting however rather than completely falling off the face of the earth the person will still like your social media posts and view your snap stories. The idea behind this is that they can keep tabs on you so you don’t completely let them go and they still have the ability to worm their way back into your life.
A large part of setting the mood is choosing the right song… This also happens to be one of the most challenging parts. When choosing an appropriate song to get down and dirty to you must first have an understanding of your partner and their personality. Choosing a song that is too cheesy for a partner that isn’t overly lovey dovey can be an automatic mood killer, and even a turn off, where as choosing a song that is too fast paced will cause a race to the finish line leaving both parties unsatisfied. In order to ensure that your experience is memorable and special you must think about your partner’s interests because after all it takes two to tango.
- Songs for those in a long term romantic relationship
- Typically these songs should either be soft and sweet or intense and passionate. This soundtrack can be based off of your couple song or something that you would want to have a nice long slow dance too. Some suggestions are
- Tupelo Honey by: Van Morrison
- Crazy Love by: Van Morrison
- Have I Told You Lately That I Love You by: Van Morrison
- Mexico by: James Taylor
- All of me by: John Legend
- Lets get it on by: Marvin Gaye
- 100 years by: Five For Fighting
- Just The Way You Are by: Bruno Mars
- Ride by: Chase Rice
- Take your time by: Sam Hunt
- Nice and Slow by: Usher
- Songs for the busy couple that barely have the time to sneak in a quickie
- Earned it by: The Weekend
- Pillow Talk by: Zayn Malik
- Work by: Rihanna
- Songs for the newbies
- Young and Beautiful by: Lana Del Ray
- Magic by: Coldplay
- Marvin Gaye by: Charlie Puth featuring Meghan Trainor
- Love me like you do by: Ellie Goulding
- Truffle Butter by: Nicki Minaj
- Songs for those of you trying to keep the fire burning
- S&M by: Rihanna
- Wild Thing by Jimi Hendrix
- Did That Hurt by: Danny Elfman
- Songs for friends with benefits
- Neighbors Know My Name by: Trey Songz
- Cuddy Buddy by: Mike Jones
- Booty Call by: G. Love & Special Sauce
- Make Up sex
- Say Something by: A Great Big World
- Sorry by: Justin Bieber
- What Do You Mean by: Justin Bieber
- Slow Motion by: Trey Songz
- Apologize by: One Republic
- Ex’s and Oh’s by: Elle King
- No More Drama by: Mary J. Blige
- Hot N Cold by: Katy Perry
- Shut up and Sleep With Me by: Sin With Sebastian
- Sexual Healing by: Marvin Gaye
- Let it Go by: James Bay
- ABC Sex (Anniversary, Birthday, Christmas)
- Birthday Sex by: Jeremiah
- Say Ahh by: Trey Songz
- Birthday Cake by: Rihanna
- Santa Baby by: Kylie Minogue
- All I Want For Christmas Is You by: Mariah Carey
- Baby Its Cold Outside by: Louis Armstrong
If you are looking for more ideas to help set the mood check out the article “Songs For the Sack” on the amazing world music blog TYLAND World of Music! https://tylandworldofmusic.wordpress.com/2016/03/17/songs-for-the-sack/
- Hit It and Quit it
What this means: The Phrase “Hit it and quit it” means you hookup with someone and then move on to the next person or cease all communication with each other
Who is this most used by? Guys ages 18-25
- “Too easy”
What this means: This isn’t a challenge and takes zero effort. Basically an easy hookup with absolutely no feelings or strings attached
Who is this most used by? Guys who engage in one-night stands… This is referring to the girls who are almost always down to get down
- Catching feelings
What this means: People try to avoid this at all costs especially when it comes to college relationship. Catching feelings means that you have a casual relationship but you start to develop real feelings for the person.
Who is this most used by? Used by both guys and girls, typically used more by the female population
- Swipe right material
What this means: people who frequent Tinder and see someone attractive that they would like to hook up.
Who is the most used by? People from the millennial generation that frequent Tinder.
- She’s My Trap Queen
What this means: Taken from the every popular song Trap Queen, this is used when referring to a girl that you can see yourself with long term. She is typically smart, beautiful, and charming.
Who is this most used by? College aged boys
Tinder: The easiest way to have a casual hook up with no strings attached. This is an app that is purely based on looks.
Tinderella: an attractive girl that is found on tinder
Netflix and Chill: when you are invited over to watch Netflix however you end up never actually watching the show. This is a causal way of hanging out without having to provide any form of commitment.
Ghosting: When you just completely cease all forms of communication with the person that you have been seeing, in hopes that they will get the hint. This is the most passive way of breaking things off with someone.
Open Relationship: This is becoming extremely popular in modern day society. This form of relationship is when two people agree that they want to be together however they can’t promise that they won’t see other people. This allows people to have a significant other without giving up the freedom to see other people.
Bae: a more casual way of saying babe or baby. This is typically used when referring to a love interest.
143: an extremely lazy/casual way of saying I love you. This represents the number of letters in each word.
FWB: Friends with Benefits
Talking: when two people are not exclusive and have yet to define their relationship.
DTR: Define the relationship
For spring break I was lucky enough to travel to Spain. I spent eight blissful days roaming the streets of Barcelona and Madrid observing the locals, enjoying the local cuisine and sipping on sangria. During my time there I came to the conclusion that everyone was in love.
Everywhere I went there were couples holding hands, exchanging kisses, and longingly gazing into each other’s eyes. This sight was both a little nauseating but at the same time very refreshing. I watched as boys around me purchased flowers at the market stand and brought them over to their girlfriends, and girls sharing bites of their warm flaky pastries with their lovers. I will never forget sitting with some of my friends enjoying brunch in a little café being surrounded by couples cozied up on the couches around us. For us it was a little uncomfortable watching these random couples express this intense passion for each other in such a public setting, however it was nice to know love still exists.
In the US people are often so busy, stressed, and attached to their technology that they tend to not live in the moment. It is a rare sight to see intense PDA while roaming the streets, and when you do encounter it, it is viewed as strange and gross.
For me the refreshing part was seeing people not care what others thought and just living in the moment, nonetheless there were many times that I wanted to shout, “Please get a room”. In my experience strolling through the streets of New York, I have witnessed couples eating while checking their emails, or texting, men paying more attention the their phones than the girls they are with and the miserable expressions on people faces as they walked side by side like robots.
The US is simply lacking the passion of Europe. We live in a culture where you don’t outwardly express your love, but rather you just assume the other person has feelings for you. In Europe there was no question that these couples were deeply, hopelessly, and passionately in love, but in America relationships in this modern world are more business casual than hopelessly romantic.
Is love the key to happiness? No one will really know the answer, but I will tell you one thing, I was seriously doubtful that love actually existed until I witnessed the magic. Maybe romance isn’t a thing of the past; maybe we simply don’t put in the effort or the passion to achieve it.